(17DEC2008)
I’m going on 3 hours of sleep, exhausted, walking through the cold morning drizzle, trying to keep my footing on the slick gravel. A LTC I don’t know passes me and asks “Are we having fun yet?”
“Not quite yet, sir” I answer.
I walk past a gaggle of MPs and slip into the MWR clamshell and out of the cold. It’s about 0820 and the place is nearly packed. I make my way to the rear and find a seat on a bench next to an Airman. Shortly after, they open the rear of the clamshell to allow people huddled outside to see the stage. This lets in the cold and wet.
The USO show was supposed to have been last night, but was cancelled. I presume it was because the weather delayed flights coming into theater, but I never hear an official reason. Shortly before 0800, we’re greeted by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff – ADM Mullen, in the flesh and on stage with his wife to welcome us and tell us what great Americans we are. It’s nice of him to be here.
The show itself is short – about an hour and 15 minutes, during which we see 6 acts. It starts with the comedians: John Bowman, Kathleen Madigan, and Lewis Black in that order. All very funny, though the crowd seems poised to laugh at a profanity regardless of the context. They each give the audience much to laugh at in that regard, their routines rife with off-color comments and verbiage.
The middle act is an actress/singer I’ve never heard of – Tichina Arnold – who talks for a little bit and then sings Wind Beneath My Wings which is a nice gesture to show her support for the troops, but does not fit the tone of the rest of the show.
She is very earnest, though, and is wearing very sparkly clothes, so she has that going for her. At
one point, she’s walking across the stage and someone behind me yells out “I love you!” and she shoots back: Is that because I just turned around? Her pants were awfully tight.
The next two acts are the big-ticket performers, the first of which is Kellie Pickler. I am only vaguely familiar with her from American Idol, a show I’ve never really watched but know something of as a citizen of the world.
She sings a few songs, the only one of which I recognize is the Dolly Parton staple 9 to 5. She talks between her songs, seems sweet enough with her thick Southern accent, and says that she enjoyed meeting troops back in the States at FT CAMPBELL, North Carolina. FT CAMPBELL is in Kentucky, but that’s okay. She’s in Afghanistan, so I cut her some slack.
It’s during her set that the Airman sitting next to me takes out his camera and creeps up the center aisle to take a picture of her closer up. He’s far from the only one doing that (I don’t, of course), and it’s funny to watch each of them walk back to their seats, sheepish and embarrassed.
The last act – Kid Rock – is by far the longest. It’s just him with a guitar, and XXX with a guitar. I’d never heard of Zac Brown, but he breaks into his song Chicken Fried which I’ve heard on the radio a few times since I got here, so that was pretty cool.
I can only name a few Kid Rock songs and would certainly not say I’ve ever been a big fan, but that may be largely out of ignorance than anything else. He put on a really good show, was adequately and appropriately irreverent, and genuinely seemed to enjoy being here with us.
I have an awful lot of respect for all of the performers who visit us here. They’re generally fairly wealthy and are under no obligation to put themselves in harm’s way to come out and entertain us. I’m a lifelong fan of anyone I see over here.
The show ends after Kid Rock’s set and normally shows like this will have an autograph/photo session afterward. I linger for a few minutes until we’re told that the whole show has to, literally, jet. They’ve got a showtime for a flight to their next destination and won’t have time to hang out.
I exit through the rear and see a gaggle of people around two shuttle buses, the crew and performers either on the buses or just boarding. Ms. Pickler has her window open and is taking pictures with some of the soldiers. I catch Ms. Madigan’s eye and we exchange smiles, and then Lewis Black gives us the thumbs-up which quickly turns into a middle finger, to our amusement.
I walk off before the buses leave and make my way toward my hooch, tired from getting up so much earlier than usual, but glad I made the effort. It’s a bit of a walk and I pass by a shuttle bus pulled over on the side of one of the dirt roads in my housing area – an uncommon sight.
Then I see a couple of soldiers taking pictures with Kid Rock who presumably just came out of the latrine. Ms. Pickler then walks out of the latrine and by where I’m standing. I say “Thanks for coming” and she smiles the whitest smile and twangs back “Thank you”. Kid Rock then walks by me with someone from his crew and I say the same thing to him, but he’s deep in conversation.
I trudge on back to my room and to the rest of my day that is largely like every other, though it started quite differently.
LTC = Lieutenant Colonel
MP = Military Police
MWR = Morale Welfare & Recreation
USO = Uniformed Services Organization
ADM = Admiral
The USO show was supposed to have been last night, but was cancelled. I presume it was because the weather delayed flights coming into theater, but I never hear an official reason. Shortly before 0800, we’re greeted by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff – ADM Mullen, in the flesh and on stage with his wife to welcome us and tell us what great Americans we are. It’s nice of him to be here.
The middle act is an actress/singer I’ve never heard of – Tichina Arnold – who talks for a little bit and then sings Wind Beneath My Wings which is a nice gesture to show her support for the troops, but does not fit the tone of the rest of the show.
one point, she’s walking across the stage and someone behind me yells out “I love you!” and she shoots back: Is that because I just turned around? Her pants were awfully tight.
She sings a few songs, the only one of which I recognize is the Dolly Parton staple 9 to 5. She talks between her songs, seems sweet enough with her thick Southern accent, and says that she enjoyed meeting troops back in the States at FT CAMPBELL, North Carolina. FT CAMPBELL is in Kentucky, but that’s okay. She’s in Afghanistan, so I cut her some slack.
The show ends after Kid Rock’s set and normally shows like this will have an autograph/photo session afterward. I linger for a few minutes until we’re told that the whole show has to, literally, jet. They’ve got a showtime for a flight to their next destination and won’t have time to hang out.
